To the version of me who was still becoming: Lessons I’m still learning
Last September, I wrote this reflection during a season of deep transition — about four months before I officially launched A Brand New Day Co., and a few years after I first began sharing my poetry with the world through M.K.W.M. Poetry in 2020.
What began as private words on a page slowly became the foundation for both the brand I’m building and the stories I’m helping others tell. Now, looking back…I realize this piece wasn’t just a note to my younger self. It was the beginning of the mission that drives me today: to build brands, and lives, that feel rooted in truth, connection and intention.
These words are as much for the creative entrepreneur, founder, nonprofit leader, heart-led visionary—as they are for the child in us all who still craves permission to be seen, feel deeply and live vivaciously.
I often think back to my younger self and all the things I’ve learned since that would’ve offered her comfort, clarity, or courage. Of course, I know that perhaps I wouldn’t have been able to fully grasp the significance in my adolescence. Along the way, I've been shaped by many people and moments — including the quiet influence of those who believed in me before I believed in myself. So what do I know now that I wish I had known earlier? Here are ten lessons I’d offer my younger self and maybe, they’ll speak to someone else too:
You do NOT need to prove that you belong here…take up as much or as little space as you care to.
Humans are often more focused on their own lives than we realize, which means your self-worth doesn’t need to be shaped by outside opinions. The more you center your own voice, the more grounded and free you’ll feel.
Boundaries are your friend. And, no they aren’t the barriers you put up around your heart to keep people out. Think of boundaries like clear floor to ceiling glass windows around your authentic self that’s main purpose is to protect you from things that don’t deserve your energy.
You get to choose what you want to use your energy towards. What you put out into the world is what will come back to you.
You can’t control a lot of things in life, but you can control how you react to them.
Exercise does more for you spiritually, mentally and energy wise than it does for the way you look.
Don’t pay so much attention to your appearance. It truly doesn’t define you.
Your deep feelings are a gift, not a curse. The things that allow you to feel so deeply are the very same things that enable you to love so deeply and enjoy life so fully. You lose that, and you lose the very essence of who you are.
Words you say to others matter and so do the words you say to yourself. I have a framed photo of my younger self carving a pumpkin with a giant ear to ear grin on my desk. Any time that I am extremely self critical, I take a look at the photo of younger Mary and remind myself that I would never say this to a child, so why would I say it to myself. It’s also a great reminder to remain curious and continue to learn new things, as no one knows everything.
Routines are important, but life also happens when you are busy making plans. Don’t forget to take your eyes up from the to-do list long enough to enjoy the present moments, because truly, they are the only moments we have.
Now, I know I can’t go back in time and tell my younger self these things, and even if I could, she likely wouldn’t understand. And, I also believe experience is life’s greatest teacher. So instead, I share these reflections in the hope that they reach someone who needs to hear them now. To remind them that they’re not broken. That they, too, deserve grace. Because perfection? It’s a myth — an idea sold to us young, wrapped in gold stars and test scores. Life is about failing forward and learning from your mistakes. It’s about connecting with people through storytelling and shared experiences. It’s about letting go of the narratives you were handed — by society, school, family, or anyone else and choosing what truly aligns with who you are today. Life is a journey to live, to feel and to learn from. Because when it comes to fulfillment, it’s not a matter of doing more, but doing less — unlearning what never truly served us.
